Sometimes I think the emptiness is the worst part. They say the opposite of love and caring isn’t hate, it’s apathy. When you feel hopeless and apathetic about your own life…that’s when it gets scary. I guess being numb has it’s benefits, but mostly it just makes me think of things I could do to try to make myself feel something. Feel anything.
Imagine waking up one morning. You open your eyes, yawn and stretch. You look out the window to a foggy grey day, but it barely registers. You glance at your phone to check the time, noticing you have a missed call. Whatever. You trudge downstairs, and as you’re fixing your coffee you realize something is missing. It almost feels like you’re dreaming. Your body is going through the motions, but your brain and your heart are nowhere to be found.
Even upon this unsettling realization, you feel nothing but a subtle curiosity at the fact that you woke up today as an empty shell.
Kristin on Ketamine 