I’m only two YEARS overdo for an update, whoops. Hi again.
It’s a hard truth to face that in most ways, not much has changed. I still find life to be quite the battle.
a brief review: I’ll start with some positives. I’m still receiving ketamine infusions regularly and am happy to report they are still helpful. The spinal cord stimulator was a great success and my pelvic pain is totally under control. Despite this, my pain journey unfortunately continues. July 2022 I began having intense pain in my right back in the scapular region. It has now spread down my right bicep and has severely limited the use of my arm. The pain is constant and intense – it casts a shadow over every second of my life. That part of my life will likely be its own post at a later time. Long story short – we have no answers yet.
In the war for my well-being, I imagine ketamine as a huge sword. It’s heavy and comes at a hefty cost, yet it is POWERFUL. Smaller battles are often won without having to reach for it – I can surely throw a punch. But when I find myself surrounded on all sides, it is an unbelievable relief to have that weapon. My trickiest enemies disguise themselves; dressing up as truths and whispering their attacks directly into my brain. The strongest of them trying to convince me to lay down my weaponry – or worse – fall on my sword. Ketamine acts as a quick and effective counterattack. It forces everything back, reclaiming my mind as my own. I make the decisions, not my illnesses. I can choose to keep fighting.
To put it bluntly – ketamine knocks out the worst of my suicidal ideations. It helps temper the feelings of hopelessness, the wanting to give up, the not seeing any good when I look toward the future. If you or someone you love suffer from these thoughts, please know that ketamine is out there. You don’t have to fight without help. You deserve to use EVERY tool available to aid in the fight for your life. You are worth it.
Kristin on Ketamine 